Welcome to the newest notch on the tape measure of time, 2021.
I actually received a New Year’s Eve party invitation this year. I’m not sure if we were celebrating the end of 2020, or the beginning of 2021. As I thought about being in a room full of people I love doing what we all love to do together, my excitement grew. Then I felt this small check in my spirit.
I felt the small check for a critical pause.
I hadn’t seen my 25 year old daughter in months. She was only agreeing to see me after a strict quarantine period which I was on the tail-end of completing. If I went to the party, I would forfeit my opportunity to spend time with her. On New Year’s Eve I adulted. I chose connection with my daughter over what I wanted to do for myself.
I chose to stay home.
I stayed home and contemplated my life. What’s ahead in this next season? What do I need to do versus what I want to do. What can I accomplish in my own strength? What can I do only if I have God’s intervention? Where is the grace from God to do what he is assigning to my life? What am I trying to do without God’s grace? What am I waiting on other people for and why? What do I need to let go of and surrender and what do I need to dig into and fight for?
As I contemplated all these questions (and approximately 10,000 more), I took into account the words God himself has spoken over my life. Words other people have spoken over my life. Not just any words, but the words people speak that hit your spirit like a truth bomb exploding in your soul. You just know that you know they are more than empty words spoken to fill space with noise. These are words that carry a little more weight than others.
Words of encouragement. Words that spark hope. Words of love and life.
I have some hopes and dreams on life support. Some are in graves and I already threw dirt on. I have promises I’m holding that haven’t happened yet. I have desires in my heart that are still unfulfilled. So, 2021, here we are. Face to face. Eye to eye. Looking in the tension of what was and what is to come. Maybe it’s the same tension of faith held in Romans 4:16-18 I’m learning how to stand in.
I am pregnant with hope for what can be.
For weeks I’ve been waiting on God to speak something significant to me. I’ve been asking God, “What do YOU want for me in 2021?”. He was silent. I heard nothing. I was feeling alone. Maybe even a little abandoned. Before I slipped into hopelessness, I reminded myself that God is not a dad full of cruel jokes he’s waiting to play on me. He’s actual a good Father with more love for me than I actually understand. He actually does want the best for me.
God is a father who doesn’t just love, but his nature is love. God is love. I felt this grievance in my heart. I felt all the disappointment I’ve been holding against the contrast of his goodness.
I decided to take a hot bath. I wanted to relax and be ready to ring in the New Year fresh and clean. I really wanted to scrub away the pain, but I knew better.
I had to grieve.
I let it all out. I grieved in silent intercession through tears. I grieved to let the hopelessness be released. There was a moment it all shifted. In the surrender, I felt the release. I started to refocus my heart. I contemplated again on the words I have over my life. I focused on the promises that are yet to be fulfilled. I felt my disillusionment shift into hope. In a moment, my whole perspective changed. It was in a moment that felt like revelation.
I’m not waiting on God to speak, he’s waiting on me to declare what he has already spoken over my life. This is how we “co-labor” with Christ and vice versa. This is how we actually carry something out in faith. Again, Romans 4:16-18 rang through my spirit.
I know a pastor who often says, “The Kingdom of Heaven is voice activated.”
What needs the power of your voice to activate it this year? What dreams and desires in your heart need spoken out loud? Is there something you think you’re waiting on God for that he may actually be waiting on you to speak out and put a little faith into?
I raise a glass and my voice to 2021.
I am entering 2021 with bold declarations. I am declaring this as the favorable year of the Lord over my life. This will be the year dreams come true. 2021 will be the year where dead things come back to living. Unfulfilled promises will be fulfilled. I will walk on uncharted paths brimming with adventure and wonder. This year will be the first fruits of what’s ahead. The first fruits for all the “betters and bests” yet to come. Welcome to the promised land of 2021 where the impossible is only impossible until it’s done.
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